what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
