he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
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