All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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