mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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