He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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