They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
