I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
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