Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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