I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize