He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
