69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
