Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
