i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
