she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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