just come out here and I will go home with you...
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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