he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
