Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
