oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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