my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize