Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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