How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
