I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
