i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
