I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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