why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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