Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize