Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
