And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
