yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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