i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
The air taste purple.
Randomize
