she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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