take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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