guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
