his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
