pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Randomize
