Just fell off a train. Bad.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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