I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize