this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
