the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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