So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
