At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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