Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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