Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
