airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
