loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
