In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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