If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
