if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I would fuck him just for his dog
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
