pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
