Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
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