Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
