bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
