Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
