You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
