I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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