I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
handjob tips. give me some.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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