So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
