it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
