he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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