I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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