sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
