i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
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